this feeling. its not where i want to be. i really dont like waking up in the am to this reality.

doesnt matter who the person is, here, its not the same. i love it for what it is. ive conquered this place ten times over. and even if it has been conquered its been to easy to understand. youve got your wannabe whatevers, whereever you look.. but thats not enough for me, my soul is doing some searching and not coming home with anything. i need the fullness of life to be nurtured.

humans are not far from nature, we live like it is this own separate entity, and its not. we are nature, its what is driving everything where doing. there is no separation. i want to make drug like effects in the world, ones that remind people of the connectedness they have with nature, even if its through memory relapse.

we all grow up to have these stories that are only real because of what, at this age,we chose

that we believe life should be this way, or life should be that.

or maybe we walk in this line that we see majority following. thats when some of us become sheep.

im having a hard time looking at my elders and the decisions on belief that they once chose. and trying to

develop my own, nobodys happy this far. but the few that i do know who at old age dont feel

a heavy load from the steps they'd chose, seemingly all chose the path less travelled.

i miss being at will of the world. i miss playing everyday. i miss the look on an inspired souls face.