Friday, September 18, 2009
waking up next to you is the best way to wake up. on days when my mind is decided i feel very very good about the possibilities that lie before us. its not until late at night when i need a little more than kisses in the morning, when i feel like there is something wrong here. what happened to the long enjoyable conversations that could last us until morning if no interference. i miss feeling like i had someone i could work to be better for, because afterall thats all this is. hell, if it werent for you and me seeing logic in building a strong foundation here, i probably would have left indiana and continued on as fast as you can say, bad roomate situation. i know if it werent for you i wouldnt be cooped up in the murphy wondering how im going to sort this all out. and ive moved passed that a bit, and theres this whole set of issues to keep walking through... when you tell me you love me, is it only because you catch a glimpse at the depth in my eyes, or because i gave you a look that sent a sensation through your body, or is it because you really actually are in love with me... not the idea of me or the games of chase i play, or do you really actually love me, because either way im happy you feel inclined to say it and think it, im just really unsure of you at this point. if you wouldnt have decided to dump me to go have your way with the world, i wouldnt have realized that i actually wanted you to be the one i wanted all the time. so in that regard you helped me realize what i wanted and what i needed to do to make it work, but now im really lost about where your at, i feel like i may have missed the boat on this one, and im just wasting time now. Are you only acting because you cant hurt somones feelings? and where do our visions for the future meet up. im confused about this to, yea we want to do buisness however that may be, but you and i... where does that meet up, because you want to travel and start a commune, and i want to start doing things that make me happy for money, that way i can eventually live the life i want to with some kids and the person i love most, im a dreamer to, but i also know that dreamers and people with plans all die equally as unhappy and the process continues. so i just wonder where you are standing with all this, and im also wondering if you are hearing the sexy noise coming from williams room? quite the distraction. Its funny you have my moms birthday to, you guys give me the same feelings of worthlessness and love tangled up into a package. its all love.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
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