Thursday, December 17, 2009

Im with you... i apoligize for the horrible content i have had in the past... lets start this over.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

swimming

im lost and none of you are helping me. im roaming with a bunch of lost children. and when im struggling instead of advice and good vibes, i feel like my walls are caving in and im sinking into the world from where my body is planted.

and im not what i seem, and im starting to go deeper into introversion. i wonder if im reeeping a bad energy ive sown. i was only trying to help, and im not this good at this yet. im not really sure i can follow the line backwards to see what was originally right and what was originally wrong and im pretty sure thats where it all starts.

this is the first time that many of my questions have been given an opportunity to be answered.
this is the first time that the silvery sun of winter has kept me this long.


Sunday, November 8, 2009

this is all a creation. I'm defining life as an art. i can only grasp what is important when it is right in front of me. I feel that who i am, is not correlating with who i am trying to become. i feel a rip in reality growing with every step im taking. i turn around to make sure no cars are coming, because that is the spinning plate that needs to be checked most frequently, i then question my hunger needs, then i move onto lifes direction, i find no peace there but the plate is at just a close enough distance to where i can see it when it starts to spin out of control, i check the cars coming, oh no, the time plate has started to fall, i ride faster, and it spins in perfect balance once again, i balance my familys place with my knee, it falls alot, but always gets picked back up, theres one that always seems to spin, and that is the self plate. but as of right now all the plates are falling off balance because the self plate has started to spin out of control. until i get that one spinning, i dont know what will happen to the other plates in the meantime.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

i always get the shitty end of everything, and its always up to me to fight it off, or make it the sunny end. when does this change. when do i get the best for all this work?

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

"did i do that? "
a human changes behavior when it knows it is being observed...

monstermashbash.








just another night.

i toss hard to the left. and from that point slowly back to the right. the pain in my rib soars like ice through my back. i hear a noise, my eyes blink and I am seeing street lights, while im still knee deep in a chase that i am dreaming up. i hear a car, or two go by, and I fall back into the intensity of the chase in my head. I wake up again to another noise, the restling of someone in the hallway shuffling home from and evening on the town. and its here when i just lay merely thinking for the rest of the night. I have a million ideas pass through my fragmented thoughts, two or three will be remembered, maybe, MAYBE, one will be started. then i drift off for my last hour of rest. I wake up to a reminder of you. i wake up to this reality. i get on my bicycle, and i ride to drift off after the rudeness of my awakening.

Monday, October 26, 2009

cocka doodle doooo

a loud unpredictable moan. a screech that sounds like a rooster at daylight, a long stretch, a scratch at the head or ear. a rub of the eye. and then a good half an hour of the most flowing primal noises i can make with my throat. these mornings are funny. i get vivid reminders of childhood.

and then i slip into a daydream, and come to it 10 minutes before i am to be at work.

october sky.

my bicycle got stolen. i dont think anyone around me, except for a biker, feels me on this.

i feel like i just got my mind takin away from me. dumbfounded
this feeling. its not where i want to be. i really dont like waking up in the am to this reality.
doesnt matter who the person is, here, its not the same. i love it for what it is. ive conquered this place ten times over. and even if it has been conquered its been to easy to understand. youve got your wannabe whatevers, whereever you look.. but thats not enough for me, my soul is doing some searching and not coming home with anything. i need the fullness of life to be nurtured.
humans are not far from nature, we live like it is this own separate entity, and its not. we are nature, its what is driving everything where doing. there is no separation. i want to make drug like effects in the world, ones that remind people of the connectedness they have with nature, even if its through memory relapse.

we all grow up to have these stories that are only real because of what, at this age,we chose
that we believe life should be this way, or life should be that.
or maybe we walk in this line that we see majority following. thats when some of us become sheep.
im having a hard time looking at my elders and the decisions on belief that they once chose. and trying to
develop my own, nobodys happy this far. but the few that i do know who at old age dont feel
a heavy load from the steps they'd chose, seemingly all chose the path less travelled.

i miss being at will of the world. i miss playing everyday. i miss the look on an inspired souls face.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

this is a new thought

RAPE TUNNEL

very extreme form of experience based art. think about what it is that he must be trying to get across.

months are flying.

dripping 40 drops of rhodiola into my water. and for the next 12 hours my adrenal will heal itself. healing has been on my mind often. getting back to the natural, in this country, at this age, in this life, knowing how to heal yourself is something that is almost a necessity to maintain this lifestyle. i feel a shamanistic wind breezing my neck. Halloween is approaching, and im feeling every very restless, almost a year has passed now, and i don't feel very accomplished. the silence of winter is a bit to strong in my studio, i get very lost in the static filled space that i live.
these moments are fleeting









i visited the city again this past weekend. I want to go get lost in the people again, but somethings telling me getting lost in the stars and the landscapes is much more suited for (my)self.
and here in this moment im okay. my bike is my saving grace. i am surrounded by walls. these walls are burning. my bike. i found myself watching the band bolivant perform, my eyes are welling up, and im wondering if im slipping into a routine that leaves me dead and monotonous? then i decide im going to choose to feel the most until i cant any longer, ive got alot of will left in me, and i dont see why i would keep doing this?

im getting out. you want to do this with me or not?


Friday, September 18, 2009

waking up next to you is the best way to wake up. on days when my mind is decided i feel very very good about the possibilities that lie before us. its not until late at night when i need a little more than kisses in the morning, when i feel like there is something wrong here. what happened to the long enjoyable conversations that could last us until morning if no interference. i miss feeling like i had someone i could work to be better for, because afterall thats all this is. hell, if it werent for you and me seeing logic in building a strong foundation here, i probably would have left indiana and continued on as fast as you can say, bad roomate situation. i know if it werent for you i wouldnt be cooped up in the murphy wondering how im going to sort this all out. and ive moved passed that a bit, and theres this whole set of issues to keep walking through... when you tell me you love me, is it only because you catch a glimpse at the depth in my eyes, or because i gave you a look that sent a sensation through your body, or is it because you really actually are in love with me... not the idea of me or the games of chase i play, or do you really actually love me, because either way im happy you feel inclined to say it and think it, im just really unsure of you at this point. if you wouldnt have decided to dump me to go have your way with the world, i wouldnt have realized that i actually wanted you to be the one i wanted all the time. so in that regard you helped me realize what i wanted and what i needed to do to make it work, but now im really lost about where your at, i feel like i may have missed the boat on this one, and im just wasting time now. Are you only acting because you cant hurt somones feelings? and where do our visions for the future meet up. im confused about this to, yea we want to do buisness however that may be, but you and i... where does that meet up, because you want to travel and start a commune, and i want to start doing things that make me happy for money, that way i can eventually live the life i want to with some kids and the person i love most, im a dreamer to, but i also know that dreamers and people with plans all die equally as unhappy and the process continues. so i just wonder where you are standing with all this, and im also wondering if you are hearing the sexy noise coming from williams room? quite the distraction. Its funny you have my moms birthday to, you guys give me the same feelings of worthlessness and love tangled up into a package. its all love.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

i need to be the wind right now
i need to be the wind right now

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

when the wind whispers on your neck, remember thats me loving you. 
sisters to intertwined to let go. love. love.love. and namaste

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

progressions, PROGRESSIONS

the wormhole is fun. i like my life lately. plenty of things to keep my occupied, plenty of interesting charactors to keep me intrigued, plenty of maturing left to happen.

Starting a board shop soon. in the good ol murphy art center. i am overwhelmed by the idea of jumping into something so serious as i am still such a procrasinator and kid. if i watch it pass me by i wont forgive myself. ive got good ideas that are starting to their materialized heads.

fall is coming. im scared for my life. i never fail to do some kind of 180 that throws my direction and mentality off. well see what this fall will bring to my plate.

hey so apprently going really fast on your longboard on a flat stretch is finally getting some hype, i felt crazy for thinking that was more fun than flying down a hill, but hey im starting to see im not the only one who can only take the colossal feeling of drifting in and out of absolute uncontrol and barely hanging on.

we will see where this takes us.

long time

itsa been a long time. lots of change and stress, and new routine, and new feelings, new perspectives, probably an entirely new person.

my bicycle has been my clarity lately in life.

i must ask whats with all these egos floating the earth.

Sunday, June 14, 2009


I want to take an endless drive underneath that big Texas sky. I want to watch the sun set on the fences, feel the soft breeze coming off the water, hear the crickets late at night, lie on the upper deck and see the entire milky way unobstructed by signs of life. I want to hear the caleche rocks crunch under my worn out flip flops, throw rocks at rusty pans hung up on a wire fence, and feel the cultural vibes of San Antonio deep in my soul. Three years ago, however, i wanted nothing to do with these things. They disgusted me, repulsed me, and made me question why my parents would ever choose south Texas, of all places, to live. But now I understand. It's not just the scenery, it's not just the slow.pace of life, and it's not just the endless horizons. It's the southern hospitality, it's the friends who are there for you WHENEVER you call, and it's the promise of a man's word. It's the implicit TRUST that lies understood between even complete strangers, and it's the place where being nice isn't a crime"Sarah Digby. 

she speaks of feelings that ring true to me when i revisit these feelings i last had in new york. 

im sitting in brooklyn, feeling a little snakey, " Ciao Bella," he says as he shuts the door to leave for the airport.  oh and the imagination a new yorker can stir up.

I hear flavourful latin music rythmatically cradling the streets today. Puerto rican day in Brooklyn. 
a car pulls up bumpin some other shit. some real shit. some urban jungle boy beat with some truth and some passion. the perfect mixture for relevance, its hard to understand when your always walking in our shoes. step into  place like this, and you wear all the shoes because the only clue youve got to whats going on is by observing those around you. catching the flow, then finding smaller patterns. - and im back to the song, and the lyrics, 

"  Ay-yo I warned you, now all niggaz could do is mourn you
I'm born to kill and still thrilled, I put it on you
There's no regrets, remorse, only results and loneliness
Only the strong survivors strive through life as warriors
All of us die, some of us kill, even massacred
Who wanna try? Punisher will if you ask for it
I'm hazardous for your health and hell's your next stop
For real my shit's cocked the world has just stopped..."
- big pun 

im supposed to open up the wormhole this week. im in way over my head, and then you add unreliable people to the equation causing for a stressstorm warning this week. mm great.

Friday, June 12, 2009

wack.

going to brooklyn this lovely morning. getting out of this shit town that is taking all of my energy to make it something worthwhile for myself. 


this, read this, and laugh at what i could possibly be doing. 

the lady on the airport is paging me. 

Saturday, May 30, 2009

meticulous creatures we are. iam. 
i am thinking of taking up being a detail artist. i dont know if this is a real label, but im pretty sure i can create it to be one. They say the devil is in the details, but i think they are only scared because thats where i peer into the deep wallless pit of truth. 
summer is here with a very different air than that of past years. Im glad i have stuck it out in indianapolis, it is finally paying off. i have some amazing people who have been backing me all this time, with no recognition. They are finally getting the gratitude from my end. I can say enough how excited i am to partake in whatever path it is that this collective ive been partaking in, has chose to walk down. 
The spirit of passion and truth are the only things worthwhile to me anymore. Passion. and above all, truth. This is what i base my life off of, not expectations, or orders, or moral code. The more i hone in on this awareness, the better paved my path becomes. 

I love swimming naked in the secret lake. I cant wait to make it out to My secret quarry, but until then, i will wallow in joy over my new found beach spot, and my recent recall of who really matters. 
I love to be inspired by the people around me. I am trying to weed anyone who does not do this for me, and luxuriate on the ones who do. 
I still wonder if i would have been better off leaving with you.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

spirit.

at the core i want nothing of your expectations. i want them out of here!!! they are clogging my fucking progress in life. you know nothing of happiness or where to find it, so quit draining me for the one small chunk i hold onto with my life. i teeter between teaching you a real lesson in life, and approaching you with compassion. 

i am a drifter. No one that i am aware of that is reading this, has the slightest idea as to what that means. Its not a movie character, its not something someone wrote about or came up with and a trend followed. It is a part of your soul, that is fleeting towards the next moment because that is the only constant that is visible. a soul like mine recognizes and is recognized almost immediately by one of the same nature. I pass, I do not mind what you are doing, as long as it does not affect what im doing, to much. i am my own soul, never to be bound to another, never to hold the hand of another if it is making me fall short of where i want to be. none of you understand this, none of you know. you probably think it is jaded, or irresponsible, or fantastic. I dont want to know what you think about it though, i dont really want anyone overly involved for any lengthy amount of time. It scares me to think my thoughts would be to focused. 

i miss leaving the place im at every second. i miss being in a constant state of departure and arrival, and most of all, i miss the people who love to not miss these feelings at all. 
why did i end up here?

ch ch ch changes

and i know nothing of what i want, but follow strongly in the direction of what i need. 

i am slightly overwhelmed by my current status. Moving into the apartment i am in now, has fallen completely short of every expectation. I dont know where my perception is, and i cant decide what is influencing it the most, but its fractals, of what i think i need and want i thought i wanted 6 months ago. I go through most days regretting the fact that i recognize some karmatic pattern, and how i have raped it in the past few years. Never did i think i would be such a prisoner in my own head. 

None the less, as the day of departure from my ever so kind  Woodruff Place short lived home, I am moving on. A whole new chapter presented itself as i was taking a gander at the book of life. A door opened to a world i swear i created in some dream, sometime ago.








it found a gallery that could use an inhabitor.  
my saving whim.

did i add that it has crown molding!



i say all of this with the deepest sigh to all of the trial and error i have in front of me. as well as the consequence that i know will come from such a great thing. 

i will keep posting the progress. 
until then, hold tight my friends.
THE WORMHOLE.

maybe its that time.

that you thought before you stepped into that murky water. 

Monday, May 18, 2009

im taking a journey through the pages in the book of life. most of the contents i dont have the comprehension for, but when i do understand what it is im seeing, its a moment of infintie middleness, and indifference to this and everything else. 

ive been understanding alot more of this book lately. 

why have these dreams been so lucid? 
when i lay my head at night, it is tainted with the things i have fed it, and do still so clearly recall what is going on when there is nothing going on is... well i dont know what it is, but the only way to release it is a creative channel that must be tapped into.


ch-ch-ch-chchanngesss
i havent had moments of peace since i moved here

Friday, May 15, 2009

you have not been paying attention

cozimnot

put me in you head put me in your head. then let me sit there and never ever let me go. i find sharpies exciting.

and then i fade out into the street
i thought you would be my center when i spun away.

Thursday, May 14, 2009


this morning i got lost somewhere between where you were and where i wanted to be. so i pulled over onto the side of the road. there were a few old wisecrackers picking for geodes right off of the highway. i decided since i hadnt been having luck finding what i was looking for, id pass the time by uncovering the secret little beauties hidden underneath the rocky surface. the waters high, its may, so the creeks overflow in my nic-o the woods, i stood under a natural waterfall until my breasts were so hard they wouldve broken diamonds. it felt beautiful. in that moment. it felt beautiful to paint my body with the richest of clay from the oldest of dirt. so untouched that once it touched your skin you remember the true meaning of virginity. 
and then i sat on a rock. 
and waited. 
and waited. 
and waited.
kinda like deja vu of some night in may with some girl who doesnt know how to somethings. 

ive got scratches on my legs because i closed my eyes before i ran through the woods. i ran a couple of miles.i stop. because im short of oxygen. i find a meadow, smells like cow dung, so im walking along the cows path now through the woods. and i see the herd. they are all lying on their big milk filled bellies, and i turn and stare for along time, at what it means to live. and then i shout to the cows, " WHAT HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THIS WORLD." all at once 60- 80 cows rise, looking me dead in the eye, and they dont stop. i close my eyes and tell them to let the one who has thought to come forth. almost instantly the herd turns to a burly, old haggard looking cow and he approaches me with fear, intimidation, and curiosity in his eyes.  i touch my nose to his, and we close our eyes. he knows what i know.  i turn around and continue my run. 

as daylight drips off of the spring leaves, leaving me with this night, let the nature of today carry on. 
                                                                                                                                                                                 a day in the the woods with only myself. and some herb



goodday.badday.
   FUCK IT

escape artist.

as the frames of time pass quickly, i am slowly starting to understand my effect.

i have no words as of now on a big portion of my life. i can only feel. and it is confusion. like every limb of my mind being pulled in a different direction. no matter what i do someones going to get hurt. where does that leave me when im trying to be a good person. thats what i want to know. 

---i eat them to ignore the world around me. ignore. no blabber blabbity is real after i eat them.

the leaves are getting greener.




Wednesday, May 13, 2009

the lion woke from the coma

i am holding two spiral notebooks in my hand. one telling me the beauty of the cosmos. the other has drawings of all of the dreams ive had. then a look on the street corner and theres a man, with a light gray suit, he looks through my eyes and into my soul and he asks, "what do you have in those note books my lovely?" I tell him, well sir i have been handed these two notebooks, i tell him what they contain. he seems concerned. " You cannot possibly read both of those, and especially not at the same time, you will never get the true value of either," he says. I blink a few times. Then I ask him which i should read. He smirks, with compassionate eyes and says, "thats your choice." Im still standing on the corner where he crossed the street to get to 61st and destiny.

Sunday, May 10, 2009



and we believed her then

this is rock and roll in case you forgot. in case i forgot, this is what im doing.

" and now outside you see the waves in her eyes
and I, I won't mind what you decide to swear by
and now oustide, you see the waves in her eyes
and I, and I won't mind what you decide to swear by

and now outside I see your eyes meet the sky
and I, I don't mind what you decide to swear by
and now outside, I see your eyes meet the sky
and I, I won't lie, I kept you here tonight " -beirut

swallowed by life in a green costume.

bags under my eyes because my tears need a home.-

  you have always been the one i payed attention
now im laying on my back waiting for this kiss that
will never come. 

my body is under the sheets, and it feels like the 
brightest constellation on land, but you dont 
see it like that yet. yet. You cant hear my thoughts,
they are trying to write an equation that will 
equal me standing next to you. 
" thanks for the beer dear"



while salsa dancing with my confusion and taking a tango with
 insecurities, i realize i may not have been completely honest.
 This, This, you, this is okay, because this is what i want. and if 
you dont, than please leave the insides of my chest alone. 
_____________________________________________________________

the grass is growing underneath my feet. I'm being stared at by the moon so full. im staring into a vastness beyond my own comprehension, wondering when i will stop, wondering why im still standing there, and wondering when the grass got so green and tall under my feet. 
and then i broke-through to the place of astral existence and stars melting through distance and time. i am not the only light projection here. your here, and your here, and you, you are here to. we are all here.  dripping slowly onto the concrete reality that banishes my imagination.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Taking a look in the eternal mirror.




A good friend once told me that there isn't a day of his life that he does not take a dive inward and stare into the eyes of his own soul. I thought i could relate, until recently, when i found myself staring into the face of my own worst enemy, myself.  Ive built myself around this notion of 'should be', but i still have fallen short of happiness in a few places. I really wonder what true contentment feels like. When does the world stop and allow you to plummet into a true world- stopping feeling of gratitude? 
The world as a whole is extremely demanding. Have we lost sight of what it truly means to be a human being in these cosmos? When you cant place feeling to situations anymore, how do you make decisions? Do YOU follow what you see? or do you create an example for others to look at?

Talk of moving gets my feet in flight all over, i wonder why i love this feeling so much. 

We stopped at where we once begun. 
a gave a lie to the light, and she ate it. and i 
tie my hands, because i have no more to give
away.  facing backwards looking at a 19 year old 
image, that would take less than a day to explain.
and if you take it all away, 
if you take it all away, ive got a paragraph. 
we moved so slowly through the grid.
i hardly remember what i did, the equation?
the equation that got me here, lies in the mind of a swiss
on a tangent.
i have been waiting for you.
i have been waiting.

your lips looked like a ripe plum ready to fall from the
breasts that they grew from. the moon sang my name as
i tried to focus, i couldnt help but acknowledge its song.
on a night like tonight, im ready to put up a fight.
i turned to see your lips, and im ready tonight.

and a promise is never not broken, especially 
when spoken. im sorry in advance...
In the end. Ill be here with myself. continously
through out this life, and eternally in my next step. 
alone. all in loving intentions.

when i look into my soul, i am disappointed to see a host dressed in
black who directs me to the table in which all goes transparent. 
with a side of shrimp.






always heading toward the end of the road and the beggining of the sky. always.

Monday, April 27, 2009

paper thin walls.

ahh what a week. the sun has been cleansing my existense these past couple days, it is dreamlike. I have been feeling very inspired to get my foot into some musical project. i raised my brow when i saw these guys. remarkable really, the kid in the video sitting on the ground is my brother from another mother, when he first moved in and around these parts i really couldnt stand listening to any noise he made anymore. my intolerance was unecessary. Pons, or i think as of recently losing a battle to a band with the same name, the call themselves 'Pussy Ornate Natural State'


                                               
(my first video edit.)

this show was really alot of fun, i am really intrigued by the indie-esque 'sub-culture' being built up in basements of houses all over broadripple, indiana. I have seen some really good talent, honestly the best talent I have seen in the indianapolis area has come into my ears while standing in the basement of a 3 dollar house show. There is a social evolution happening in music, apperent here in indianapolis, and even more apparent with my time spent in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. I love that my brother Jacob has taken part. ;-]





also before moving on, i just want to state, that i caught pons biggest fan in that video. " I LOVE PONS, I LOVE YOU ANDY."  big giggles.
___________________________________________________________

i also went and caught my favorite live performance this past weekend in South Bend. It was good to get to my baptism and soak it all up. I wait completely impatiently for the next time i am graced by an Umphreys Mcgee jam session. Its like melting butter for your ears, its like tickling your eyes with every color in the crayon box, and it builds you up to explode your heart. i love the teasing that happens when i go see these guys play their music.

                                                                       

things are looking interesting for the summer. i am constantly building up steam to spout off into the world.  I must confess I wonder how far I can push myself creatively to produce something i can feel was worthwhile, in this society. personal satisfaction, to me, is the easy part. thus keeping me from the life of a lemming. 

windows wide open, early summer breeze.
i feel something, and its making it hard to breath
the wind in my toes is apparent, barefoot in the 
grass as it blows. turned around looking in the moment last, i forgot i forget that this goes by fast. 

silver and gold, silver and gold
everyone wishes for silver and gold
how do you measure its worth?
just by the pleasure it gives her on earth. "


Monday, April 20, 2009

fourtwentyforaleming)

Happy Holidaze for MEEEE. 

sorry to the neighbos for the smell. =] =] favorite day of the yearrrrr. 

also. roomate is now free to make ideas reality. Four Twenty For a Leming. =] finding his way out of line. 

the gotan project. ceu. radiohead. modest mouse. massive attack. micranots. mos def. all about brooklyn today. and everyday. love ;]
_______________________________________________________________________________________


creation of themself.


nothing good is coming from the ripe fruit.

I woke up from a dream last night, alone and concerned, you see, i never escaped from being that young feeble baby. i grew up  a bit, and walked away from the shell, but the childs still there as far as I can tell. 
as i opened my eyes i realized what i had just dreamt. a memory on replay. my life on replay. it all felt like one small moment in time the could be just one memory, until i realized it was my entire life up until age 7. i opened my eyes when i felt the eyes of something else reading the reaction in my mind. i wish i wouldnt have noticed. 

"The trick is to combine your waking rational abilities with the infinite possibilities of your dreams. Because, if you can do that, you can do anything." 

The thing that stirred me up the most is that i thought
I had been lucid dreaming. I actually felt that I was the
one creating the dream. Alot of what I was experiencing
was very dream-like and almost unbelieveable. Is this
not the reality of life? or a reality?





Friday, April 17, 2009

Gratitude and Frustration.

Everyday I wake up a accepting life on its own terms a little more.   I control my own reality and nooone  else's, this leads me to walking my feet out of alot of predicaments, with the realization that most of the time the situation is not solely controlled by myself. Im a runner. I havent stuck with alot of hard times, and its something i regret deeply. 
One of my best friends Danielle is moving to Austin, Tx this weekend, and shes not walking away with a great amount of good vibes towards me. Its a moment of epiphany to me. 
Ive been really feeling amped on life in all aspects, besides this. 
I AM letting go of alot of people in my life that i dont feel consider my emotions, or really take the time to understand and nurture my own ideas, worrys, and needs. (thus far it would be everyone) but you cant expect to much out of people, once again, your the only one in control. The ball of frustration inside of my chest, with every conversation, grows and grows. I want to look at the majority of folks i have interacted with this far into my life, and i want to scream, I DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK. and i want the people i care about to know, that that is what they get, I'm sorry if my concern for everyone isn't enough, but these people know my life has ties in every direction. I don't know a single person who connects and reaches out to more people in a day than i do.  I don't always have time to chat for hours, or visit on a day to day basis. My job is seeing you people, but theres alot of you to see. I love everyone in my world right now with the most deep and indescribable compassion, but I am ultimately concerned about my own state of mind, and my current status in life. I often feel that people underestimate what i am feeling or observing or dealing with myself, and that is okay, but I will continue to stay true to my own heart, because once I'm done walking the same path to the same end as the rest of us, i will be there alone and with my own spirit, and in the end, that's the only truth i will know. 

I love all of you in whom i reach out to on a constant basis. I'm sorry if my presence is often absent, and i will try harder to let my feelings and needs be known. Its all growing, and i may be lacking in my communication area, but everyone lacks something, and everyone deserves an explanitation. 

to a true friendship with lots of confusion. i love you and hold you in my dreams and wishes.

 













love some danielley smelly. 







                                   


                                    

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Dos)

First of all;  Bike Sprints down 10th St. in Indianapolis are growing to be a habit, followed by some rooftop action in my favorite spot. 
on a side note.
ive been keeping a watchful eye on the graffiti around town. im not much for bombing buildings and hopeless billboards these days, but i sure am sick of the cats doing work around indy. today,  i climbed atop and old piece done by a regular cat. I have been lookin out for this kid for months. He needs new style, and he needs to get a concept of real lettering. if i could find him to tell him this, i would in a heartbeat. this goes out to you. cho-cough cough nevermind. 



I am really liking where things are heading. Im looking forward to alot, and i havent been able to state that in a while. i have wisps of inspirations exploding from all of the influences in my world.  I understand time signatures as of today. I'd never taken the time to ask the simple question. I feel ridiculous for this. 



 passively awaiting the weekend.

Umprheys Mcgee. 
South Bend, Indiana
Morris Theater
Saturday April 19, 2009

^^^^^^^^
  my church. 

love and light.
more for you pour soon
<3>



ps. if you dont love the free stuff that chic mother earth is given you, your nuts. 

thank you dani and kayla for having good enough blogs to inspire myself  to put my little space on the interweb together. =]

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

1)

BUY A LONGBOARD!

seriously.  MAKE A LONGBOARD! either way. getchu some!












all day fun. my love. thanks to mike dallas. ! 


 



coming to conclusions.





"Space ships can't tame the jungle
And I feel like I'm giving in
We've been drivin thru a desert
Looking for a life to call our own."   -beck    
I woke up this morning.       You would think that was enough to fill my day. 
This is MY blog. Hello, Im Hannah. Im your tourguide to the universe. Ive decided that living a life in which I am the observer, and not the observee, is the kind of life i find the most comfort in. I also feel like a few good tips from a few good people are the most helpful tools the world has to offer.
Lately I have been paying an unusual amount of attention the simple idea that we are all walking the same path to the same end. Walking, in a line, to the same ending. hypothetically. This, here, what you are experiencing, this is the big gray area for me. The filling of our time is the most uncertain subject i can journey to in my head. 
Nevertheless, all of this really doesn't matter to me anymore. Im finding more and more everyday that the action of doing is what my life will hold, continually until my walk has ended and my energy is released back into the pool of unknowingness. In the meantime, Im broke, my creative capacity is overwhelming, and i love, love, love finding beauty in people and their ideas. I will keep you updated on things going on around the world and around my neighborhood, that will keep the soul pleasantly occupied. Namaste. =]


 



photo credit: Danielle Shaun Way