2010

PART 1
I don't understand why the astronomers responsible for naming new-found objects are so devoid of flair. Here's a prime example: They found a blazar, or blazing quasi-stellar object, in a faraway galaxy. It's powered by a supermassive black hole that's 10 billion times larger than our sun. Why did they give this fantastic oddity the crushingly boring name "Q0906+6930"? Couldn't they have called it something like "Queen Anastasia" or "Blessed Quasimodo" or "Gastromopolopolis"? I trust you won't be as lazy in your approach to all the exotic discoveries you're going to be making in 2010, Aries. Start getting your imagination in top shape. Make sure it's primed and ready for your upcoming walkabout to the far reaches of reality.

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PART 2
What influences do you really, really need to say goodbye to? The next six months will provide you with ample motivation and opportunity to finally bid those farewells. What long-term cycle really, really needs to be drawn to a close, no more hemming and hawing, all loose ends tied up and all mixed signals clarified? Again, the time between now and the middle of June will bring you the necessary inspiration to make it happen. But it'll take deep thought and sustained work and an expanded sense of humor, so get started soon.

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PART 3
One of my favorite landscape painters makes a livable wage from selling her art. She has had many gallery showings and has garnered much critical acclaim. That's the good news. The bad news is that she feels obligated to keep churning out more landscape paintings -- even when her muse nudges her to take a detour into, say, abstract expressionism or surrealistic portraits. Galleries don't want anything from her except the stuff that has made her semi-famous. "Sometimes I fantasize about creating a series of 'Sock Puppet Monkeys Playing Poker,'" she told me. If she were an Aries, I'd advise her to do what I think you should do in 2010: Listen to what your version of the sock puppet monkeys are urging you to do.

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PART 4
The Earth's north magnetic pole is not the same as the geographic North Pole. If you take out a compass to orient yourself toward due north, the compass arrow will actually point toward a spot in the frigid wilds of Canada. But what's really odd is that the north magnetic pole has been on the move since 1904 -- scientists don't know exactly why -- and has dramatically sped up in recent years. According to National Geographic, it's now zooming toward Siberia at the rate of almost 40 miles per year. I suspect that your own metaphorical version of magnetic north will also be changing in 2010, Aries. By January 2011, the homing signal you depend on to locate your place in reality may have migrated significantly.